Ahlph

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Ahlph

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1698
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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Ahlph's page activity

Visits<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:53pm<b>alkanbigdick</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:14pm<b>joooanaaa</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 4:23am<b>PremiumWhale</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 9:44am<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 5:12pm<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 3:34pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:26am<b>ZachHatesPeople</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Emelka</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 3:05am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:22am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:16pm<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 2:42pm<b>deathposts</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:26am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 9:04am<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:58pm<b>Snackycake</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:39am<b>casafudge</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:20pm<b>badbitchxx</b> - the 07/05/2013 at 11:21am

Fucked!<b>thatguynamedsky</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 8:34pm

Ahlph's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Ahlph's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML

by Hannah / 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend of over a year looked at me and said, "Sometimes I just want to hit you." FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm / United States / Love

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML

by migsman / 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2010 at 11:04am / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Transportation

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, I realized that not only am I still an unpublished author, but I can't even get an FML posted after submitting several in the last year. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2010 at 8:43am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, I was on a long-haul plane journey home from my holiday. After 5 hours, I decided to stretch my arms whilst watching a movie. Little did I know that a little girl was approaching, running down the aisle as my arm stretched out. I accidentally clothes-lined a little 9 year old girl. FML

by James4929 / 01/07/2010 at 7:25pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

by Jennyfromdablock / 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

by PiaNO / 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

by stixx / 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was driving on the freeway. I shut my windows and sunroof when I started to feel heavy rain hitting me in the face and shoulder. I was confused by the rain because the sun was bright and there was blue, cloudless sky. Then I saw the large trash truck in front of me spewing "trash juice". FML

by iross / 10/23/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was at the movies. All of a sudden, the woman next to me starts laughing uncontrollably and talking to her friend during the movie. This continued throughout the movie, ruining it. I turned and whispered to my friend. The woman then taps me on the shoulder and yells, "Shut the fuck up!" FML

by fmlatmovies / 07/25/2009 at 11:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.