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Offline (the 08/08/2015 at 3:20am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4372
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Agnesia's page activity

Visits<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 9:59am<b>breakless1</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 8:35pm<b>sorainu</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:22am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 2:47pm<b>gayflaco</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:55pm<b>RavenCent</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 1:34am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Timmster007</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>ang3l4</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:24am<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 12:04pm<b>acciofrenchhorn</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:05am

Agnesia's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of Agnesia's badges

Agnesia's favorite FMLs

Today, frustrated with my very energetic kids, I told them that if they dug a hole deep enough in the backyard, they'd find China. What they really found was the previous owner's dog. FML

by pheonixxe / 06/01/2015 at 6:45pm / United States (Wyoming) / Kids

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

by pissed / 05/10/2015 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 3:42am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2015 at 1:58am / Finland / Work

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

by Notthatone / 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe / 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I overheard my co-workers referring to me as "Uncle Fester". This is apparently my nickname around the office, and has been for nearly three years. I had no idea. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2015 at 9:49pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

by numbtongue / 03/13/2015 at 12:19am / New Zealand (Otago) / Health

Today, I was walking my dog. Suddenly, my insane neighbor who loves dogs a bit too much comes over and asks to pet my dog. I say OK, thinking that if I watch her, she won't do anything. I turn around to make sure no cars are coming and when I turn back, she's trying to steal my dog. FML

by teecrafter2038 / 03/12/2015 at 10:07am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

by oh well / 03/10/2015 at 9:27am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

by CrazyInLove / 03/10/2015 at 2:02am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

by MyMomIsInsane / 03/09/2015 at 8:28pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

by no touching / 03/06/2015 at 9:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.