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AgentSmith79

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AgentSmith79
  • Town/Country : Florida, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 788
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About AgentSmith79 : You can find me on Facebook! I'm Josh Mohawk. I live in Florida, and my Facebook profile pic is of my chest and torso painted black and gold like Brass Body from "The Man With The Iron Fists". I'm a body paint model, and I also paint other people :)

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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AgentSmith79's favorite FMLs

Today, I played a Jazz gig. It rained, making the tent the band performed under heavy with water. When I stepped forward to play my solo, the front end of the tent collapsed under the weight of the rain, drenching me. FML

#17617354
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20694) - you deserved it (2036)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by TheJazzKid - United States (California)

Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML

#17529546
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23264) - you deserved it (5431)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25460) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (11235)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML

#17460856
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (5218)

On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML

#17440698
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (3734)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

#17436127
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (11924)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML

#17408229
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33190) - you deserved it (5683)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by Sharee K. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML

#17394408
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (4673)

On 08/07/2011 at 3:12am - misc - by ouch (man) - Mexico (Baja California)

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20264) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23435) - you deserved it (2205)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

#17384491
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26485) - you deserved it (7949)

On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24004) - you deserved it (2475)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (8391)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)



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