About AgentSmith79 : You can find me on Facebook! I'm Josh Mohawk. I live in Florida, and my Facebook profile pic is of my chest and torso painted black and gold like Brass Body from "The Man With The Iron Fists". I'm a body paint model, and I also paint other people :)
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (4363)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:26pm - work - by ChePow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (2473)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26177) - you deserved it (10449)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (2512)
On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23726) - you deserved it (5126)
On 08/13/2011 at 3:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (2877)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by Anonymous - Vietnam (Ha Noi)
Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17089) - you deserved it (9542)
On 08/11/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29064) - you deserved it (883)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by Sharee K. - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I learned that my brakes don't work anymore on my bike. When did I learn this? While speeding down a really steep hill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19625) - you deserved it (4310)
On 08/07/2011 at 3:12am - misc - by ouch (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you deserved it (2296)
On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22077) - you deserved it (1811)
On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (6053)
On 08/06/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by plantfood - United States
Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (2442)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (6508)
On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
