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AgentSmith79

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AgentSmith79

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1125
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About AgentSmith79 : You can find me on Facebook! I'm Josh Mohawk. I live in Florida, and my Facebook profile pic is of my chest and torso painted black and gold like Brass Body from "The Man With The Iron Fists". I'm a body paint model, and I also paint other people :)

AgentSmith79's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 5:55pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:28pm<b>blackwidowtaco</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:28pm<b>AudreySucks</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 3:21pm<b>nirpat</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 6:13pm<b>MTLATP</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 7:50am<b>grad2017</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 8:23am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 7:29pm<b>appelflap</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 1:17pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 1:52pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 3:56am<b>darrenjoe</b> - the 03/31/2013 at 5:38pm<b>chelleFML</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 10:13am<b>bikergirl93</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 6:55am<b>Chompzone</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 2:13am<b>raphanne</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 6:52am<b>IAmJad</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 8:02am<b>outoftown</b> - the 08/14/2012 at 7:20pm

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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AgentSmith79's favorite FMLs

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56262) - you deserved it (6000)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (15089)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43800) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (67895)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53686) - you deserved it (3911)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

#20520338
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36270) - you deserved it (8002)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks. FML

#20513075
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17149) - you deserved it (50353)

On 02/19/2013 at 1:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML

#20502433
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41450) - you deserved it (3399)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (8950)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (3491)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26927) - you deserved it (2161)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I stepped on the scale and realized that I weigh more than the amount of money that I have in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24980) - you deserved it (7231)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML



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