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Aff

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Aff
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  • Number of visits : 1175
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Aff's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a loud crashing noise. I ran into the kitchen to see what it was. My cat had knocked over my fish bowl and had my Beta in her mouth. After scolding her and rescuing it, I decided to clean its bowl. When I went to dump some of the water in the sink, my fish went down the drain. FML

#6585612
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8088) - you deserved it (26574)

On 12/03/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by Sassers (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML

#6578691
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25350) - you deserved it (3139)

On 12/03/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by friendless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first acting part. I played the role of a bad boy who has to grab the leading lady's ass, who then slaps me in the face. The ass grab was done in one take. The slap required 14 takes. FML

#6570901
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (4254)

On 12/02/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

#6489895
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (14125)

On 11/28/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Cornbreesha (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67683) - you deserved it (11293)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

#6436663
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (2317)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:07pm - health - by Foodcomesfirst (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

#6416233
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (3305)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend of one year when an attractive girl walks over. She asks him, "Is this your girlfriend?" He replied "That depends... are you single?" FML

#6404510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40711) - you deserved it (3210)

On 11/22/2009 at 12:49pm - love - by Rejected. (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. They also took the inhaler that fell out of my bag the night before. The one I needed to stop the asthma attack I had from the stress of having my car broken into. FML

#6403775
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29366) - you deserved it (2083)

On 11/22/2009 at 11:49am - health - by trying2breathe (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was sitting at lunch and started choking on a chip. I couldn't breathe and nobody tried to help me. Having to take matters into my own hands, I reached for a juice box that belonged to someone sitting next to me. After I could breathe again, they informed me that they had mono. FML

#6358488
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28908) - you deserved it (4045)

On 11/18/2009 at 7:19pm - health - by ohmigodimchokin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (2335)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML

#6301645
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9233) - you deserved it (34160)

On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7706) - you deserved it (25602)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I woke up to find that I left my headlights on last night. I found out by the headlights of my car smashed and a post-it note on my windshield saying "you accidentally left your headlights on... I took care of that for you". FML

#6296267
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (5357)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by ZINGER (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

#6283221
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35056) - you deserved it (1861)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by ournhd (man) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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