This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5475) - you totally deserved it (20430)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13541) - you totally deserved it (3312)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you totally deserved it (1806)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13811) - you totally deserved it (3422)
On 11/09/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by cpatch (man) - United States
Today, I met and asked a cute girl out on a date. We decided to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. When I got there I saw her sitting with what turned out to be her parents. They made a huge scene, calling me a pedophile and a low-life. Apparently, the girl was 16 years old. I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you totally deserved it (6897)
On 10/23/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by lloydLO (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I decided to take a personal day from class and e-mailed all of my profs saying I had flu symptoms. While standing in line at Starbucks later, someone behind me says "Glad you're feeling better. Hope you can attend class tomorrow, we'll discuss lying." It was my Ethics professor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3254) - you totally deserved it (29222)
On 10/20/2009 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you totally deserved it (1882)
On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, while meeting guys from my dad's work, they told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21049) - you totally deserved it (3797)
On 10/16/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by SheWentCrayola (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my new neighbor who moved in 2 weeks ago has been dead in his apartment for the past 5 days. I've been making jokes to the other people in building that he could die and no one would know about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8794) - you totally deserved it (21454)
On 10/09/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by smithj10 - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend over webcam with a cute negligee. He was doing homework. Half an hour later, he finally noticed. Apparently pre-calc is more interesting than his girlfriend. I guess polynomials are just curvier than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8578) - you totally deserved it (18975)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:39am - love - by NotAParabola (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. It's eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43045) - you totally deserved it (1084)
On 09/29/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by rainedaddy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you totally deserved it (2588)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you totally deserved it (2234)
On 09/27/2009 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24787) - you totally deserved it (9142)
On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24520) - you totally deserved it (2259)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
