This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (30095)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States
Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35844) - you deserved it (1983)
On 12/07/2011 at 6:35am - health - by cuppycakeslove - United States (Ohio)
Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17644) - you deserved it (2204)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (2619)
On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
Today, my car was towed. After taking a cab all the way to the lot for $45 and paying the $250 fee to get my car back, my car broke down in the impound lot and needed to be towed to the nearest shop, where it took another $200 to fix, and $50 for the towing. I still have a 3 hour drive home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24081) - you deserved it (2574)
On 12/01/2011 at 4:49am - money - by Bladerunner (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11739) - you deserved it (16631)
On 11/30/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by yessir - United States
Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (2676)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23992) - you deserved it (2352)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)
Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23540) - you deserved it (3029)
On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (4083)
On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a guy lost control of his umbrella in the wind, which then hit me in the eye, making me bleed. He screamed at me for trying to steal his umbrella. People laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27562) - you deserved it (1600)
On 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my dad got drunk and thought it would be a great idea to clean up the yard by dumping gasoline all over the leaves and lighting our entire front yard on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22068) - you deserved it (1568)
On 11/24/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by JWhite - United States (California)
Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (5400)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22038) - you deserved it (3642)
On 11/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by jdancerchick - United States
Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21395) - you deserved it (3781)
On 11/15/2011 at 1:00pm - misc - by dazean - United States (Alaska)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
