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AdrianEC's favorite FMLs
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
by anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 2:05am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/01/2012 at 10:29am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
by Mikaela / 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Discouraged / 05/31/2012 at 8:43am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
Today, it was my birthday, and I woke up to my dad telling me that we're going to Disneyland. Apparently, by "we" he meant him and my mom. They did, however, make a point to say "happy birthday" before they left. FML
by Schubey / 05/19/2012 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by gutted / 05/06/2012 at 10:13pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML
by mathguy / 05/03/2012 at 8:16am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 8:23pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
by thyisnothorses / 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one…