About Adrena : ..... Don't do it. I'm married and he is trained to kill. Semper Fi !!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (4297)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16690) - you deserved it (17993)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (12262)
On 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm - love - by ouch - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30144) - you deserved it (3854)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23866) - you deserved it (6262)
On 12/15/2009 at 4:49pm - love - by notcool (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was "I think we were better off as friends." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (4189)
On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am - love - by Schmolly (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64089) - you deserved it (5528)
On 05/24/2009 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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