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Adiedee's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
by Bug5992 / 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I went to see a musical that some school friends had put on. At some point in the show, the main character kicked her leg up in the air, and her high heel flew off of her foot and into the audience. The shoe hit me square in the face. FML
by ko / 12/08/2012 at 7:25pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
by ouch. / 12/08/2012 at 5:44am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
by Emily / 12/05/2012 at 12:55pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by superminty / 12/04/2012 at 3:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by disembob / 12/02/2012 at 9:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
by Anonymous / 12/02/2012 at 3:19am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by Chuffy / 12/01/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by faen / 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm / Norway (Sogn og Fjordane) / Miscellaneous
by boo8713 / 11/28/2012 at 1:06am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Bliggins / 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Love
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, it’s been a week since I arrived in Cuba. Gustav came to visit us. Now it’s Hannah’s turn.… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…