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Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 4:16am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 662
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Adeptasaurus : Been stalking the FML app for years before I made this. Upcoming professional commenter; just give me some time

Adeptasaurus's page activity

Visits<b>fezdenver</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:14am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:30pm<b>iain0910</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:36am<b>LittleBigMidget</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:59pm<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:14am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:51am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:11pm<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:28am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:49am<b>CryoShock</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:14am<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:01am<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:02am<b>marmaries</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 3:58pm<b>peacexmaddy72</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:25pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:04pm

Adeptasaurus's FML badges

YDI master

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Adeptasaurus's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

by yarenis / 12/24/2013 at 5:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2011 at 6:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my son a row for losing a very important paper that I need for my work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

by Daddy / 11/10/2008 at 7:06am / Kids