Adeptasaurus

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Offline (the 11/14/2014 at 4:16am)

Adeptasaurus

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 10 April 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 612
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Adeptasaurus : Been stalking the FML app for years before I made this. Upcoming professional commenter; just give me some time

Adeptasaurus's page activity

Visits<b>fezdenver</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 1:14am<b>srinivasawesum</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 2:30pm<b>iain0910</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:36am<b>LittleBigMidget</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:59pm<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:24pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:14am<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:51am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 10:46am<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 8:04pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 4:11pm<b>LowExpectations</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:28am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:49am<b>CryoShock</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 8:14am<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 2:01am<b>GoodGuyForSure</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 1:02am<b>marmaries</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 3:58pm<b>peacexmaddy72</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:25pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 8:04pm

Adeptasaurus's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Adeptasaurus's badges

Adeptasaurus's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, like every day since I was born, my name is Yarenis, pronounced "ja-ra-nees. For some reason, everybody pronounce it "your anus". FML

by yarenis / 12/24/2013 at 5:45am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

by waterbottlehit / 12/02/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from my biological father, who I have never met in my life. As I was scrolling through his hobbies and interests, I saw "Drinking," "Black women with big asses," and "Getting laid, lol." FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 4:33pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Intimacy

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2011 at 6:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I gave my son a row for losing a very important paper that I need for my work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

by Daddy / 11/10/2008 at 7:06am / Kids