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AculyAmber

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AculyAmber

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 452
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AculyAmber : Oh hey! My names Amber! My friends say I'm from the internet, because this is where I spend all my time. If you're being an asshole, I'll go out of my way to piss you off just sayin. So yeah.. I'm not sure what else to put! okay bye xxxoxoxooxoxo #swag #yolo #kony2013P.S. I'm a sarcastic lil shit k bye

AculyAmber's page activity

Visits<b>Darkness121</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:11pm<b>reallynow1910</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 10:47am<b>cdw2014</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:40am<b>Patty410</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 2:16pm<b>NeoNazi1488</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:34am<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 7:34pm<b>equitationbound</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:52am<b>meowmafia98</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 4:25am<b>idonotknow7</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 6:25pm<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 4:58pm<b>Rick_Astley</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:07am<b>dre82</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:24pm<b>kthxbaiiii</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:15pm<b>GayBlowjob</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:29pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 10:06pm<b>Eion</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 9:36pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 12:31am<b>laura1809</b> - the 10/13/2013 at 3:57pm

AculyAmber's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of AculyAmber's badges

AculyAmber's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45063) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (52959)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (11504)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41480) - you deserved it (4593)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My bestfriend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML

#20864835
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36901) - you deserved it (3036)

On 09/02/2013 at 5:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50759) - you deserved it (6643)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54807) - you deserved it (4579)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34038) - you deserved it (5110)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46295) - you deserved it (6206)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (23081)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54094) - you deserved it (18169)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML

#20818001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (20283)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Myballshurt (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60316) - you deserved it (4384)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)



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