Absolute_Zero

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Absolute_Zero

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9781
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Absolute_Zero : A lover of music, the arts, and the humorous portrayal of others in pain - therefore, I visit this site as well as the Darwin Awards, DeviantART, and YouTube as often as possible. See you there - AZ

Absolute_Zero's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:28pm<b>tepovre</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:38am<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:29pm<b>alfonzo</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 12:20pm<b>madxl345</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 11:29pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:53am<b>not2shabby</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 6:49pm

Absolute_Zero's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Absolute_Zero's favorite FMLs

Today, I called Tech Support because the computer program wouldn't let me open files for my online classes. After an hour, and being walked through the downloading process multiple times. There was a pause and he said "You're a F*ing idiot." and hung up. It still won't work. FML

by holliefall / 06/02/2009 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

by toobad / 06/02/2009 at 1:41am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number I said 'Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number'. So many girls have given me that number, I memorized it. FML

by toobad / 06/02/2009 at 1:41am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

by Bawo / 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

by baron / 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML

by crazystuff23 / 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

by crazyjohnny / 06/01/2009 at 2:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

by anoymus / 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

by satanlovesme / 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

by quietdown / 05/30/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

by Jess / 05/30/2009 at 8:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, at work as a cashier, I had a male customer come up to me and ask me what hours I worked today, like he has done for several weeks now. Immediately after, my manager calls my lane to tell me to watch out for that guy. He has been stalking a co-worker of mine. Apparently, I'm next. FML

by be_nj / 05/28/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Arkansas) / Work

Today, I returned to my apartment to find everything reduced to ashes, hidden in black clouds of smoke. Turns out there was a blackout, and my fiancé lit a candle on top of a stack of all our wedding papers. When he smelled the smoke, he got hungry for a taco and left instead of calling 911. FML

by Jeanine / 05/28/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous