About Absolute_Zero : A lover of music, the arts, and the humorous portrayal of others in pain - therefore, I visit this site as well as the Darwin Awards, DeviantART, and YouTube as often as possible. See you there - AZ
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97079) - you deserved it (56274)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55615) - you deserved it (2866)
On 06/10/2009 at 1:35pm - misc - by Oh_baby (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90864) - you deserved it (3248)
On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15128) - you deserved it (32258)
On 06/09/2009 at 1:45am - love - by Ryan746 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, the girl I am in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she is even paying for the flights and accommodation. It's because I am such a special friend to her and she wants me to come up to meet her fiancé before she gets married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53741) - you deserved it (4148)
On 06/08/2009 at 9:28pm - love - by doomed (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13476) - you deserved it (33963)
On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73153) - you deserved it (15319)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49832) - you deserved it (4505)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by dogs_and_toucans (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49832) - you deserved it (4505)
On 06/08/2009 at 2:47pm - love - by dogs_and_toucans (man) - United States
Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55285) - you deserved it (2341)
On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)
Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (87705)
On 06/07/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (57535)
On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (44214) - you deserved it (6273)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - kids - by EwFace (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38776) - you deserved it (8793)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought my cat a nice big bag of expensive anti-hairball catfood, so she'd stop puking hairballs on my things. After eating it, she started running around wildly, howling and projectile vomiting on EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (5758)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - animals - by Jay (man) - United States (Illinois)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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