Absolute_Zero

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Absolute_Zero

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9965
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Absolute_Zero : A lover of music, the arts, and the humorous portrayal of others in pain - therefore, I visit this site as well as the Darwin Awards, DeviantART, and YouTube as often as possible. See you there - AZ

Absolute_Zero's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 5:28pm<b>tepovre</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:38am<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Ev3d11</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 9:29pm<b>alfonzo</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 12:20pm<b>madxl345</b> - the 06/16/2009 at 11:29pm<b>username666</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 12:53am<b>not2shabby</b> - the 04/08/2009 at 6:49pm

Absolute_Zero's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Absolute_Zero's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my friend's beautiful wedding. The only other single girl there was 5 years old. She caught the bouquet. FML

by StillSingle / 06/29/2009 at 2:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, the cable repairman came to fix my cable which has never worked well. The entire time he was talking about how much extra money he got the "fat bitch who moved here 6 months ago" to pay for her cable. I moved in 6 months ago. I was pregnant. FML

by fmerunning / 06/28/2009 at 8:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML

by lifedamntough / 06/28/2009 at 7:49am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. I opened my eyes to see his eyes fixed on something else. I turned my head to see what was so interesting. He was on his iPhone looking up recipes for things to wrap in bacon. FML

by a_B_c_D_e_F_g / 06/27/2009 at 10:29am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

by toothfairy / 06/26/2009 at 10:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

by Tom / 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML

by Ketchup / 06/22/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for my little sister's birthday. She loves manga. I've never read manga, so I bought a couple of novels from the "popular" shelf. Turns out if they have white covers it means they are "adult" books. I bought my sister a "lolicon" manga - filled with prebuscent naked girls. FML

by loli-conned / 06/21/2009 at 6:10pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Kids

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

by Dumbass / 06/20/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous