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Absolute_Zero

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Absolute_Zero
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4498
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Absolute_Zero : A lover of music, the arts, and the humorous portrayal of others in pain - therefore, I visit this site as well as the Darwin Awards, DeviantART, and YouTube as often as possible. See you there - AZ

Absolute_Zero's last visitors

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Absolute_Zero's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss requested that I re-organize every file in the office, because she wanted the filing cabinets alphabetized right to left, not left to right. To thank me, she came into my office to give me one uncooked ear of corn. I think my boss has mistaken me for some kind of farm animal. FML

#3613617
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (2428)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:17pm - work - by ST3PH (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML

#3613021
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16193) - you deserved it (55091)

On 07/09/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by sadlife (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave blood. Needless to say, I don't like needles and jerked my arm when the aide stuck me. The needle snapped. After panicking the nurse rushed to unsuccessfully remove the tip from my vein. They had to cut it out before it infiltrated my blood stream. I now have stitches. FML

#3611836
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18097) - you deserved it (36411)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:49pm - health - by SGlass (man) - United States

Today, my boss walked in my office to see me busy making a little Post-it dress for my pen. FML

#3610078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9587) - you deserved it (40122)

On 07/09/2009 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (2048)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML

#3574119
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60124) - you deserved it (2954)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:46am - intimacy - by cheated (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103375) - you deserved it (3356)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML

#3549532
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48527) - you deserved it (2398)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by allwaysbuggedinheaven - United States (Michigan)

Today, during my shift at the restaurant, my boss's daugher came in. I could not help but notice she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her mother, my boss took me aside and said "my daugher's got eyes, you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (42667)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I come home to find my nephew holding pieces of my new $3,500 Sony Video Camera. He told me he threw it out the window because it was a portal for aliens. FML

#3527232
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42391) - you deserved it (2786)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by AidenFromSweden (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was skating with my friends and I decided to go to the gas station to get a pack of cigs. The last thing I remember hearing was "Look out!" I am now with twenty stitches because some idiot bet he could throw a brick farther than another guy. FML

#3522499
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45085) - you deserved it (6155)

On 07/06/2009 at 2:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (2797)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

#3465145
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57166) - you deserved it (13718)

On 07/03/2009 at 9:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59292) - you deserved it (5091)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML

#3389497
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (5074)

On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)



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