About Abracadavre : I don't talk much.
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Abracadavre's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML
by Ross R / 12/27/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
by Trinity / 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML
by Can you say "bandwagon"? / 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML
by dgilbs / 08/27/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
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