About Abracadavre : I don't talk much.
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Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (3855)
On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15622) - you deserved it (11894)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States
Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32337) - you deserved it (1939)
On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46912) - you deserved it (2630)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22136) - you deserved it (17323)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26673) - you deserved it (1322)
On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25730) - you deserved it (4878)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (9444)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16331) - you deserved it (12272)
On 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm - health - by Crusty -
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20547) - you deserved it (4918)
Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (1430)
On 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm - misc - by Trinity (woman) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14506) - you deserved it (3267)
On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States
Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5458) - you deserved it (22101)
On 08/27/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (1721)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Monday 20 May 2013
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