Abracadavre

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Abracadavre

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 July 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 340
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Abracadavre : I don't talk much.

Abracadavre's page activity

Visits<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:01am<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 12:34am<b>stormcreator</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:17am<b>gladdy1991</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 5:48am<b>swick25</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 10:49pm<b>Darkness121</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 2:07pm<b>snowy3457</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 3:53pm<b>evrlastngfrtcke</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 2:50pm<b>jadenann</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 12:03am<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:13pm<b>glamophonic</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:52am<b>Crowe_Dovahkiin</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 1:17am<b>eternal7</b> - the 09/23/2012 at 12:04am

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Abracadavre's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2012 at 6:16am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

by fuckinghicks / 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm / United States / Love

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

by ohman / 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

by Ross R / 12/27/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The pedicurist began examining my feet, then called his coworkers over to demonstrate how to deal with "excessively crusty" feet. FML

by Crusty / 12/19/2012 at 3:53pm / Health

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

by Renzy / 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm / Kids

Today, I was sitting on a train, doing homework for my programming class, when a man sat in the seat next to me. He must have been a programmer too, because he spent the next few hours staring at my screen and laughing whenever I made a mistake. FML

by Trinity / 11/19/2012 at 5:37pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

by Can you say "bandwagon"? / 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML

by dgilbs / 08/27/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

by masterman / 08/27/2012 at 2:45am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous