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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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A_Motley_Fool

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A_Motley_Fool
  • Town/Country : Santa Rosa, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 September 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 425
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About A_Motley_Fool : I like checking out this site regardless of if I'm happy or sad. The reason being that no matter what mood I am in, there's an FML that enhances it.

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A_Motley_Fool's favorite FMLs

Today, my adorable 8 year old son told me he no longer wanted me to pick him up from school. When I asked why he said. "I told everyone at school my mommy is pretty... and I don't want people to know I lied". FML

#2876647 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (65817) - you deserved it (2678)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:42am - kids - by andthatshowitgoes (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because "he didn't believe in marriage." FML

#2501509 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (60868) - you deserved it (2899)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

#2459648 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (2930)

On 05/31/2009 at 9:04am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707 (213)

I agree, your life sucks (85133) - you deserved it (5572)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (18086) - you deserved it (90081)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

#1274514 (57)

I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (1873)

On 04/23/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by pleasebackintomycaragain (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

#1244870 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (18943) - you deserved it (57321)

On 04/23/2009 at 12:20am - intimacy - by rejected (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML

#1230911 (320)

I agree, your life sucks (75450) - you deserved it (11393)

On 04/22/2009 at 5:46pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (57444) - you deserved it (6116)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (61642)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

#1219528 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (61231) - you deserved it (5200)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (51637) - you deserved it (2009)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was masturbating to a video a friend sent me. The girls were hot, walking out on a stage doing all sorts of sexy manuevers. The video was close to ending and the announcer in the video announced the winner. His name was Dan. It was a drag competition. My friend knew I'd whack off to it. FML

#1097922 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (19761) - you deserved it (86637)

On 04/18/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by Masterbater (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

#950316 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (102933) - you deserved it (7130)

On 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm - love - by blaise (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML

#855959 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (17531) - you deserved it (70576)

On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)