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A_Dead_Fish32

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A_Dead_Fish32

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 190
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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A_Dead_Fish32's page activity

Visits<b>MissDarkness</b> - yesterday at 5:57pm<b>AFaye3964</b> - yesterday at 2:09pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:57pm<b>DRz_Ice</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:32am<b>Aquila_Umbrae</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 5:34pm<b>martialart1st18</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:10am<b>kristopher_0819</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:26pm<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:35pm<b>aimzskee</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Aquaman911</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>snoopy325</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:13am<b>krxll</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 2:01pm<b>ImagineDragons_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:46am<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:22am<b>savvy8</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 9:04pm<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 05/28/2014 at 3:18pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 11:04am<b>amberv61</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 3:59am

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A_Dead_Fish32's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (4833)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50509) - you deserved it (7525)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked at my bank balance. It read $1.23. That's higher than it usually is. FML

#21185584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39940) - you deserved it (7708)

On 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm - money - by amused (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51863) - you deserved it (4562)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

#21173465
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41667) - you deserved it (5298)

On 06/13/2014 at 4:17pm - health - by green and not with envy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (13484)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51605) - you deserved it (7174)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42191) - you deserved it (3514)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35580) - you deserved it (8366)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64918) - you deserved it (32501)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (2846)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML

#21095295
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40635) - you deserved it (7934)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41357) - you deserved it (4189)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

#21089760
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33588) - you deserved it (3887)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:10am - work - by aziraphaleelle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)



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