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A_Dead_Fish32's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML
by missca / 12/15/2014 at 11:35pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML
by .__. / 12/07/2014 at 3:10am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
by newly passed, newly grassed / 12/06/2014 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
by college student / 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a army-mandated personality evaluation test. The results said I had a high chance of schizophrenia and multiple personality syndrome. Part of me says that the test is probably spot-on, the other part says it has to be a mistake. Apparently this is another sign of schizophrenia. FML
by ArmyIT / 11/05/2014 at 6:42pm / Korea, Republic of / Health
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by FML / 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 4:23pm / Transportation
by Anonymous / 08/21/2014 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work
by ChristinePi / 07/26/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Jack00412 / 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML
by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by amused / 06/23/2014 at 5:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…