About ATSViper : I get bored and go on FML to look for a good laugh...Feel free to msg me... : )
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27981) - you deserved it (7651)
On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54095) - you deserved it (3805)
On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -
Today, my fencing team took pictures for the yearbook. We were having individual pictures with our weapons, and it was my turn. When the photographer told me to pose, I tried to be super cool by quickly putting my sabre against my chest like some sort of soldier. I poked myself in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4874) - you deserved it (21958)
On 12/01/2010 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10925) - you deserved it (49656)
On 11/30/2010 at 10:39pm - work - by Username -
Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13771) - you deserved it (13308)
On 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11191) - you deserved it (29213)
On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to see a famous rapper perform. My girlfriend got us up to the front to get pictures with him. He went to give me a high-five, I thought it was a fist-bump, so I made a fist. So he made a fist while I made a palm to match his retracted high-five. Then I panicked, cupped his fist and ran. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8931) - you deserved it (19412)
On 11/26/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by blackitalian - United States
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34574) - you deserved it (4383)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came through a DUI checkpoint. The trooper noticed some donuts I had. He asked, "Are those donuts?" Jokingly, I replied, "Yes. Why? Are you going to confiscate them?" He didn't see the humor and pulled me off to the side to have a team search my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9613) - you deserved it (17293)
On 11/22/2010 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (17624)
On 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142278) - you deserved it (32745)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105626) - you deserved it (4756)
On 04/12/2009 at 6:47am - misc - by Aprilfools (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66986) - you deserved it (182524)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182939) - you deserved it (61943)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (182939) - you deserved it (61943)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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