About ATSViper : I get bored and go on FML to look for a good laugh...Feel free to msg me... : )
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ATSViper's favorite FMLs
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
by brittbrat4 / 08/13/2011 at 2:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by TuteSweet / 08/12/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML
by scully11 / 08/02/2011 at 2:36pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML
by JohnyP / 07/09/2011 at 3:04am / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
by asianlover / 06/30/2011 at 3:24am / Finland (Western Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
by Hopslammer / 06/16/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Health
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 12:10am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by rastafarimon / 04/17/2011 at 1:56am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by FrOsTy25 / 04/13/2011 at 6:57pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML
by oc_cheergirl / 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- Today, it's my last day of vacation. The friend I drove 12 hours to see has a new girlfriend this… Today, my little cousin that's sleeping over tried to reenact the game "Elsa brain surgery" with me… Today, I got in to an argument with my girlfriend. Why? Because she wouldn't believe me when I told…