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ATOMIX

Offline (the 06/24/2015 at 4:24am) | Search for a member

ATOMIX

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 March 1998 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 99
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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The rules are the rules

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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ATOMIX's favorite FMLs

Today, I still didn't feel quite awake after the first lesson at school, so I went to get a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had just enough money for it. No cup dropped into the holder, and the whole thing poured straight into the drip tray while I watched. FML

#21310620
84 comments

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (12572)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

#21025897
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53989) - you deserved it (6762)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:00pm - health - by foreveralone - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44329) - you deserved it (5768)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36925) - you deserved it (11986)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50696) - you deserved it (6814)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (5186)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I found out just how easy it is to be launched against the wall and sucker-punched into oblivion by a 200-pound former Marine turned professional body-builder. I discovered this after I told my fiancée's dad that we were expecting a baby. FML

#19867923
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25467) - you deserved it (4201)

On 06/29/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by fuckjuggalos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was so broke I went to Costco, not to buy anything, but to eat their free food samples. FML

#19706786
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (3280)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:52pm - money - by thedri11 - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

#13788956
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8221) - you deserved it (49395)

On 11/10/2010 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML

#13075106
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21424) - you deserved it (12103)

On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML

#4690268
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29152) - you deserved it (19495)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

#3419869
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47732) - you deserved it (10771)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)



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