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ASHLEEBAYBEEx3

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ASHLEEBAYBEEx3
  • Town/Country : new york(;, america
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 7 November 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 7859
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ASHLEEBAYBEEx3's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5617) - you deserved it (45213)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, I won $20 on a scratch ticket my grandma bought me. She wants it back. FML

#18381976
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23207) - you deserved it (2210)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:45am - money - by dasteve - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

#18377899
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15170) - you deserved it (19540)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm - work - by fuuuuck (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33872) - you deserved it (18244)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31396) - you deserved it (8857)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30838) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32724) - you deserved it (8859)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML

Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML

#17601670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17291) - you deserved it (34449)

On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at the airport. A creepy man smiled at me, so I politely smiled back. I then realized his shirt said "Smile if you take it in the ass." He then winked at me and walked off. FML

#17315983
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34536) - you deserved it (11899)

On 07/31/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by creepedout - United States

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (5398)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

#15426482
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (25754)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49294) - you deserved it (6884)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

#14830027
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35284) - you deserved it (5906)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed -

Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML

#14796617
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16879) - you deserved it (36427)

On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)



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