Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ARKHAM88

Search for a member

ARKHAM88
  • Town/Country : Dublin, Éire
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 December 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 745
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ARKHAM88 : That is me on the right in the pic.

ARKHAM88's last visitors

annalily5herecomestheboomEpalmssalex1027livicraziestblackmanstevenN659katydid91Faith13aidanelliott84riseagainst10910SolarFlare

ARKHAM88's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ARKHAM88's badges

ARKHAM88's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

#6683091
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (2259)

On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML

#6456010
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22299) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15002) - you deserved it (3103)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23336) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31762) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

#6089895
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19360) - you deserved it (2362)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26955) - you deserved it (1527)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML

#5876534
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35817) - you deserved it (2856)

On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

#5721325
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32324) - you deserved it (2985)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white." FML

#5716873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12094) - you deserved it (2447)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:41am - intimacy - by JD (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34313) - you deserved it (14230)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing a game where you ask sexual questions and you have to give an honest answer. At one point, I asked my boyfriend what his favorite position is, to which he quickly answered with no hesitation, "Any one where I don't have to see your face or body." FML

#5369665
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22190) - you deserved it (3473)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:42am - intimacy - by uglyallover (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30881) - you deserved it (7084)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML

#4992541
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38814) - you deserved it (3082)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at an amusement park my husband left me to walk with all of our friends because he said that I moved too slow. I'm pregnant. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: