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Today, I heard the sounds of women grunting in the living room. My husband knows I don't like him to watch porn, so I confronted him. He was masturbating to professional Women's tennis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8024) - you deserved it (13120)
On 01/19/2010 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sportyhusband (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19648) - you deserved it (2588)
On 01/16/2010 at 11:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20508) - you deserved it (3647)
On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (3351)
On 01/12/2010 at 1:46am - kids - by mandiballz - United States (California)
Today, I shaved my legs and armpits for the first time in 6 weeks. Unfortunately, I didn't have a hot date, I just had my yearly gyno exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16011) - you deserved it (5868)
On 01/04/2010 at 8:43pm - health - by hairybetty (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (2403)
On 01/01/2010 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by Lovergirl (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38320) - you deserved it (1798)
On 12/09/2009 at 6:47pm - love - by _RobotInDisguise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my husband and I were at a wedding. When the DJ announced that the bar was open, my hubby was the only one to RUN to the bar while the other husbands stayed behind to dance with their wives, eyeing us in a weird way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (3306)
On 11/26/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Embarassedd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14408) - you deserved it (3031)
On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (4083)
On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (2190)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15632) - you deserved it (2057)
On 10/31/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by thornrose22 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (1494)
On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 5 year old daughter came back from a playdate at her new friend's house. Apparently, while she was there, her friend taught her a new way to get anything she wanted. That would be holding her breath until she passes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (2193)
On 10/18/2009 at 9:36am - kids - by Pleasebreathe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31739) - you deserved it (2947)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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