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Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26109) - you deserved it (4336)
On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)
Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (2236)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (10790)
On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -
Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28429) - you deserved it (981)
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37495) - you deserved it (5065)
On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41758) - you deserved it (6421)
Today, my boyfriend let me know he wanted me to leave by repeatedly jabbing me with my car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18729) - you deserved it (3482)
On 03/01/2011 at 12:29am - love - by cockalicious -
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38121) - you deserved it (14902)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22943) - you deserved it (4487)
On 01/17/2011 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by No O-face (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (3335)
On 01/03/2011 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17015) - you deserved it (28732)
On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35555) - you deserved it (4221)
On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States
Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (5719)
On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39290) - you deserved it (5719)
On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18378) - you deserved it (3613)
On 11/28/2010 at 6:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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