Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ARKHAM88

Online | Search for a member

ARKHAM88

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 December 1984 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2834
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ARKHAM88 : That is me on the right in the pic.

ARKHAM88's page activity

Visits<b>mylonius</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:49pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 2:13am<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:09pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:24pm<b>SmellyTaco</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>ASuperWhoLockian</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:33pm<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 3:11pm<b>niabellarey</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 10:55pm<b>gamecockkiller1</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:22pm<b>beefsupreme78</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Moonunit226</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 8:34am<b>krispy_kreme792</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:32pm<b>MaltWarrior</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 4:56pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:21pm<b>kmaster117</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 11:51am<b>olillia</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:33pm<b>sabrinaMA</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:46pm<b>jesterinperil</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:44pm

Fucked!<b>mckenz1eq</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 9:11pm<b>tompom331</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 7:39pm

ARKHAM88's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ARKHAM88's badges

ARKHAM88's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26560) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25289) - you deserved it (9230)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32114) - you deserved it (7236)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML

#19746532
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (4038)

On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States

Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML

#19624313
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (40946)

On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

#19459497
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42154) - you deserved it (8490)

On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

#19296842
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (11239)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

#19261628
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35069) - you deserved it (4503)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42669) - you deserved it (6139)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (5439)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33506) - you deserved it (5273)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (5980)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38031) - you deserved it (5745)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17222) - you deserved it (42463)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: