Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ARKHAM88

Offline (41 minutes ago) | Search for a member

ARKHAM88

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 December 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1096
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ARKHAM88 : That is me on the right in the pic.

ARKHAM88's page activity

Visits<b>T_Dogg42</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:56pm<b>emeraldisle</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:25am<b>gunner_12</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:27pm<b>annalily5</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:25pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 12/18/2013 at 3:26pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 7:42am<b>alex1027livi</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 11:40pm<b>craziestblackman</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 8:29pm<b>stevenN659</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 6:35am<b>katydid91</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 12:24am<b>Faith13</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 12:54am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 2:33pm<b>aidanelliott84</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 7:22pm<b>riseagainst10910</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 12:47pm<b>SolarFlare</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:15am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 1:45pm<b>khfan039</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:06am<b>softlikesunset</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 3:39pm

ARKHAM88's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ARKHAM88's badges

ARKHAM88's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (5615)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML

#19126066
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (4924)

On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29629) - you deserved it (4839)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32823) - you deserved it (5533)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33879) - you deserved it (5266)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML

#18540985
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15312) - you deserved it (39268)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

#18456086
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (4469)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML

#18117360
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (8901)

On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

#18058320
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (3515)

On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31573) - you deserved it (5680)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41150) - you deserved it (2979)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (14452)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, my boyfriend came home from a camping trip and broke up with me. All because when he was watching the lake he was near, ripples formed. Apparently, this means God was telling him I'm impure and unable to be "saved by Christ" and therefore, a waste of his time. I dated this lunatic. FML

#16148221
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (7874)

On 05/12/2011 at 7:34pm - love - by dammitvasquez - Canada

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44204) - you deserved it (6372)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
409 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48626) - you deserved it (8008)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: