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Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (5714)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (2677)
On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States
Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21465) - you deserved it (2310)
On 05/24/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by td1078 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16655) - you deserved it (32515)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32295) - you deserved it (6879)
On 04/13/2012 at 1:09am - love - by rejected - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18608) - you deserved it (7436)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24197) - you deserved it (2989)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29821) - you deserved it (4067)
On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to tell my 7 year old son it's not polite to jack off in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24882) - you deserved it (3517)
On 02/20/2012 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Gothicbunnyx3 - United States
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (3526)
On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (4063)
On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (3946)
On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my dad came to pick me up early for the Christmas break. He walked in on me cleaning all 19 of my sex toys. That's more than one sex toy per year that I've lived. I now have to face a 7-hour drive from Montreal to Toronto with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11616) - you deserved it (27965)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - intimacy - by Une Fille (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (3918)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé and I got married. We both promised to remain abstinent until our wedding day. She's on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37456) - you deserved it (6948)
On 10/31/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Andrew - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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