Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AHotCupOfCoffee

Offline (yesterday at 5:50am) | Search for a member

AHotCupOfCoffee

4Fucked!

AHotCupOfCoffeeAHotCupOfCoffee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 March 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7817
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About AHotCupOfCoffee : I go on other people's profiles for their pictures(excluding selfies). Or by accident. Main picture is from Pink Floyds Live at Pompeii performance. Led Zeppelin II is a favorite.

AHotCupOfCoffee's page activity

Visits<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 10:02am<b>hellnosucka</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 8:52am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:49am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 6:55am<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:19am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 5:27pm<b>sam882</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 8:13pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 11:45pm<b>tylergonmad</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:42pm<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 5:48am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:00am<b>nicehotcupoftea</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 10:57am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 2:50pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 7:51pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:15pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:27pm<b>ZiggysMommy512</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 5:19am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:27pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:14pm<b>tylergonmad</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 6:56pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 12:46am

AHotCupOfCoffee's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of AHotCupOfCoffee's badges

AHotCupOfCoffee's favorite FMLs

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

#21459620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (2435)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26430) - you deserved it (14030)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31190) - you deserved it (2888)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, I had to explain to my rabidly religious brother how two transvestites can buy fish at Petco while he's buying the same fish at the same Petco, and it doesn't equate to hitting on him. It's been two hours, and he's still sitting outside my door reading Bible verses and praying aggressively. FML

#21392651
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29666) - you deserved it (2601)

On 04/12/2015 at 10:51pm - misc - by mademoiselle meurtre (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (3381)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, three of my dipshit coworkers kept whining all day about Zayne Malik leaving One Direction, how devastating it is, and what it means for their future. As a pacifist, I've never had to struggle so hard to not beat the piss out of people and hurl their broken remains out a window. FML

#21381305
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30536) - you deserved it (4361)

On 03/25/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I arrived at work to find out someone had signed me up to a dating site. Apparently, my inability to speak to women has reached "boss level". Quite literally, as my boss was the one who signed me up. FML

#21380719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (3216)

On 03/24/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by ctmoto77 - United States (California)

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36785) - you deserved it (3135)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34008) - you deserved it (7756)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44501) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (2707)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (2666)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: