About AFur : I am a gay fur from the great state of Colorado.... I'm an Atheist and a misanthrope. After being on this site for a while I'm starting to reconsider hate for humanity.
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AFur's favorite FMLs
Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML
by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek
Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML
by frame / 03/20/2009 at 11:08am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
by Noname / 03/12/2009 at 3:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML
by HansonLUVR / 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by sprocket / 02/28/2009 at 1:55pm / Hong Kong / Love
Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML
by tryena / 02/28/2009 at 5:59am / United States (Idaho) / Kids
Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML
by Embarrassed / 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and… Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for… Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new…