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ADOmega's favorite FMLs
Today, I introduced my long-distance boyfriend of 2 years to my friends. I told him how my friends jokingly call him my imaginary Internet boyfriend. He thought it was so funny that when they met, he claimed to be my cousin, saying that I paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend. They believed him. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2016 at 2:53am / United States (Maryland) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/29/2016 at 11:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my brother and I got food poisoning because of the shady chicken subs we ate last night. Our mom thinks we're faking it and sent us to school anyway. I'm coming to you live from a school toilet while missing a test. FML
by goddamn chicken subs / 03/24/2016 at 12:51pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
by yblamemebiatch / 03/16/2016 at 6:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML
by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, after lots of overcast weather, we opened the blinds to the children's section in the library, to let in the beautiful sunshine. Fifteen preschoolers were greeted by the sight of a used condom plastered against the window. FML
by Anonameow / 03/15/2016 at 2:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by again? / 03/15/2016 at 6:03am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anon / 03/15/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by singlemam / 03/14/2016 at 9:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by SBae / 03/14/2016 at 11:49am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML
by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work
by billjoebob424 / 03/09/2016 at 7:01pm / Canada / Love
by AwkCockBlock / 03/06/2016 at 7:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
by gayvsgay / 03/06/2016 at 10:31am / Germany (Saarland) / Intimacy