Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

ADC_Lover_2011

Search for a member

ADC_Lover_2011
  • Town/Country : BFE, Nowhere
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 146
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ADC_Lover_2011 : College Student
- Major Political Science
- Minor Business Administration

Aspiring Attorney
- Work in Contract Law and/or Insurance Law and/or Animal Rights Law
-Plan on doing a hefty amount of Pro Bono Publico work

Romantic at Hear
- Chivalry isn't dead
- Holding Doors, Paying for the date, Flowers and chocolate (old school romantic)

Music Aficionado
- Plays: Sax and Tuba
- Listens to everything except most rap and most metal

Bilingual
- English
- Latin
• Next to Learn
- Italian
- Portuguese
- French

TV
- The Big Bang Theory
- Supernatural
- 2 and a Half Men

ADC_Lover_2011's last visitors

SaintTAnonForAReasonTheOnlyBob

ADC_Lover_2011's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of ADC_Lover_2011's badges

ADC_Lover_2011's favorite FMLs

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

#11940720
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (5610)

On 07/17/2010 at 10:54am - misc - by killer (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18326) - you deserved it (2074)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that my neighbor gets more pleasure out of me and my husband having it off then I do. FML

#8382778
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10607) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/17/2010 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by noosher0990 -

Today, I found out my neighbor has been watching my husband and I have sex for the 2 years we've been married. He slaps his sausage and smokes 5 cigarettes while he watches. FML

#6656855
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12639) - you deserved it (3407)

On 12/07/2009 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by niquey62307 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26847) - you deserved it (10694)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61161) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14453) - you deserved it (37837)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14453) - you deserved it (37837)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (43067)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65804) - you deserved it (162617)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (67649)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65013) - you deserved it (6427)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66412) - you deserved it (9465)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: