Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ADC_Lover_2011

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

ADC_Lover_2011

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2176
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ADC_Lover_2011 : College Student (Nerd)
- Major Political Science
- Minor Business Administration

Aspiring Attorney
- Work in Contract Law and/or Insurance Law and/or Animal Rights Law
-Plan on doing a hefty amount of Pro Bono Publico work

Romantic at Heart
- Chivalry isn't dead
- Holding Doors, Paying for the date, Flowers and chocolate (old school romantic)

Music Aficionado
- Plays: Sax and Tuba
- Listens to everything except most rap and most metal

Bilingual
- English
- Latin
• Next to Learn
- Italian
- Portuguese
- French

TV
- The Big Bang Theory
- Supernatural
- 2 and a Half Men
- King of the Nerds
- Bones
- Psych
- Eureka
- Firefly
- Family Guy
- Star Trek (All Series)
- House
- Mythbusters
- The Andy Griffith Show
- Knight Rider (1982 Series)

*Lover of all things Marvel Related
*Lover of all things Star Wars Related
*Lover of all things Star Trek Related

ADC_Lover_2011's page activity

Visits<b>littlemissno1</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:57pm<b>colehardfact</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 8:23pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 3:35am<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 5:27pm<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 7:17pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:43am<b>grghillis96</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 7:19pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 11:47pm<b>djalal</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 11:27am<b>SaintT</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 12:37pm<b>AnonForAReason</b> - the 03/30/2013 at 8:54pm<b>TheOnlyBob</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 8:58pm

ADC_Lover_2011's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of ADC_Lover_2011's badges

ADC_Lover_2011's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36662) - you deserved it (3558)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41654) - you deserved it (13595)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42560) - you deserved it (9072)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (9079)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52075) - you deserved it (5038)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (15334)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63711) - you deserved it (8101)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61358) - you deserved it (14100)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51928) - you deserved it (19001)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48671) - you deserved it (16276)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (386) - you deserved it (18836)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (32338)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: