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Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27498) - you totally deserved it (1525)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49119) - you totally deserved it (2879)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you totally deserved it (3386)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27036) - you totally deserved it (1950)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by backtosquareone (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8517) - you totally deserved it (20279)
On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19872) - you totally deserved it (3617)
On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you totally deserved it (1630)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to visit my parents. My dad went on a religious tirade, my mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told mum to 'go to her room and pray'. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you totally deserved it (1678)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36773) - you totally deserved it (1606)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you totally deserved it (3688)
On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25035) - you totally deserved it (2511)
On 09/09/2009 at 3:33pm - kids - by WOCOACH (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laugh and made sexual comments about him that we thought he couldn't understand, he asks me "First time in Moscow?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (2495) - you totally deserved it (45494)
On 09/08/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by HotToTrotskyite (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you totally deserved it (19752)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by cachow (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I figured out that a $40 phone case does not protect your $500 phone from a five year old throwing it off a fourth story balcony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you totally deserved it (4560)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:37am - kids - by eagerbeaver (man) - United States
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2713) - you totally deserved it (119193)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
