About 9lashes : hi! my name is Jesse i like chatting and love seeing Pleonasm comments. i like swimming, listening to music, playing guitar and more! if ya want to find out what just message me (: oh and IRON MAN IS THE BEST SUPERHERO!! xD
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9lashes's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
by onehundredpercenteffed / 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I was delivering packages as usual for work. I was dropping off a large letter to a hot girl. Before I turned to leave the girl opened her mouth to say something. Instead, she just vomited all over me. Her letter was my first delivery of the day. I had to finish my job covered in puke. FML
by FedExMan / 08/11/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
by TextLoser / 08/05/2009 at 9:37am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
by WearingOff / 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my immature dad said I am a girl not a woman, so my witty response was ''I have a period, I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML
by bookworm94 / 07/27/2009 at 12:10am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
Today, my college economics class had a big test. We all needed a scantron sheet, but some people forgot some. I had an extra one and this really hot girl offered to buy it for $1.00. I said I'd give it to her for her number. She looked around and asked "Does anyone else have an extra?" FML
by thathurt / 03/28/2009 at 8:13pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance… Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature… Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack.…
- Today, my mom cracked my back so hard that my sternum cracked as well. Breathing has never been so… Today, my grandpa passed away recently and I missed a lot of school because of it so I can't go to… Today, while standing next to my work van pulling out tools for a job, a man snuck up within inches…