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987smartypants

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987smartypants

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987smartypants's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister and I got into an argument at a tennis court which ended up with her trying to run me over in the parking lot. I stepped to the side and hit her door, denting it. My parents expect me to pay for the damage caused by my sister trying to kill me. FML

#13357466
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (3067)

On 10/07/2010 at 7:37pm - misc - by toyotasmash - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45896) - you deserved it (14690)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

#12649609
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (3919)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (9574)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

#8751188
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (9574)

On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working as a cashier at a restaurant. When I receive $50 and $100 bills I am required to have a manager check to make sure they are not counterfeit. Every manager I found yelled at me to find another manager because they were busy. Frustrated, I just accepted the bill. It was fake. FML

#8643590
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31206) - you deserved it (5737)

On 02/25/2010 at 5:29pm - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37832) - you deserved it (3362)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

#7932396
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (12881)

On 02/06/2010 at 10:19am - animals - by sadcat (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18762) - you deserved it (32911)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I handed my friend a $50. I paid her to take care of my farm on Farmville, feed my fish on Fishville, and flip my burgers on Cafe World, while I went on vacation for a week. FML

#7122357
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9398) - you deserved it (60209)

On 01/03/2010 at 7:00am - misc - by loser (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML

#7086130
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43996) - you deserved it (2384)

On 01/01/2010 at 5:07pm - work - by manksy (woman) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

#6804423
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27598) - you deserved it (9434)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Ryan (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9461) - you deserved it (48680)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

#6238334
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (14134)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:47am - misc - by Dummy - United States (Ohio)



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