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987smartypants

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987smartypants

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987smartypants's favorite FMLs

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25076) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66552) - you deserved it (3225)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (49144)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to make home made french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML

#17934685
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16582) - you deserved it (24096)

On 10/08/2011 at 11:36am - misc - by anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (7646)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34095) - you deserved it (2570)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML

#17130002
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33589) - you deserved it (2782)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by jordy1995 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

#17032745
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (75522) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother resolved to never visit McDonald's again. Not because of ethics or health concerns, but because they charged her for extra barbecue sauce. She bitched out the man in the drive-through for a good five minutes, while I sat awkwardly in the passenger's seat. FML

#17018036
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27120) - you deserved it (2858)

On 07/07/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by AgentFreshers (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML

#14945395
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15875) - you deserved it (24737)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

#14253305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9323) - you deserved it (23960)

On 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm - misc - by me - United States

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112534) - you deserved it (15239)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62045) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33194) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21741) - you deserved it (8294)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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