96bart96

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Offline (the 12/13/2014 at 3:03am)

96bart96

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 29 September 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3426
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 96bart96 : Hello creepers!

........move along now

96bart96's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 4:32pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 8:21pm<b>roro_superloser</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:40pm<b>Ishq786</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 9:33pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 3:33pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 11:48pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/02/2013 at 2:21pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 11:36am<b>goalie01</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 5:42am<b>Mr_Leading</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 3:00am<b>Bryankaoz</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 11:09pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 8:22pm<b>Halie0119</b> - the 05/17/2013 at 3:25pm<b>bendboys</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 8:39pm<b>red1116</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 12:27pm<b>lochiamochia</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 11:38pm<b>Dennisse_47</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 12:07am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 6:58am

96bart96's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

96bart96's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my 65-year-old mother that it is inappropriate for her to walk around in front of me in her underwear. Her response? "Too bad." FML

by appropriatepolice / 01/16/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

by mew / 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm / Canada / Kids

Today, the new office IT guy figured the best way to get the virus off my computer was to wipe my entire hard drive. He was kind enough to back my data up and restore everything from the backups. Including the virus. FML

by Soopa-Genius / 09/22/2011 at 8:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

by Brie / 09/05/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML

by Anon / 08/04/2011 at 4:30am / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

by anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 10:33am / Singapore / Transportation

Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML

by John / 05/19/2011 at 12:27am / Transportation

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

by :| / 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML

by John / 01/13/2011 at 4:12pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I realized the birthmark I have on my chest isn't a birthmark at all; it's a third nipple. FML

by triplenipple / 01/10/2011 at 3:35pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Health

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

by Username / 11/29/2010 at 9:22am / Miscellaneous

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

by apavies444 / 11/28/2010 at 2:10am / United States / Intimacy