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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (3520)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7216) - you deserved it (20301)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (2157)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (1809)
On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15975) - you deserved it (3085)
On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14695) - you deserved it (26572)
On 05/31/2012 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13862) - you deserved it (2710)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24844) - you deserved it (3941)
On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia
Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16409) - you deserved it (1797)
On 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm - misc - by Lonely_Army (man) - Qatar
Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3522) - you deserved it (19738)
On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36965) - you deserved it (3015)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (2911)
On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (4929)
On 05/14/2012 at 6:31am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the store for some pads with my dad. We got them and then went to the cashier. That's when he realized that they were scented. He took one out of the box, sniffed it, made me sniff it, then insisted the cashier smell it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19822) - you deserved it (1508)
On 05/13/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by vron991 - United States (Delaware)
Today, I started a new job. I noticed all the beautiful women. Then I tripped on a cord running across the floor. They noticed me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11733) - you deserved it (3528)
On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - work - by Brown345 (man) - United States
Sunday 12 May 2013
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