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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6759) - you deserved it (36791)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (2508)
On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23861) - you deserved it (2055)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62458) - you deserved it (6323)
On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (42351)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (2681)
On 10/09/2012 at 6:21am - kids - by AFEmoWifey (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (4197)
On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19199) - you deserved it (1132)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm - animals - by banj0 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17461) - you deserved it (1988)
On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that guys will only flirt with me when they're drunk, and even then only when they realize that my best friend is out of their league. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13591) - you deserved it (1350)
On 09/29/2012 at 7:16am - love - by kfenton - United States
Today, my step-brother had some serious bowel distress and rushed to the bathroom. Because he forgot to quit his group chat with his buddies, I quickly found out that the reason he's so over-protective, and hostile to my male friends, is because he wants to get into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (1505)
On 09/23/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by creepedasfuck (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18498) - you deserved it (8106)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18332) - you deserved it (1236)
On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16801) - you deserved it (2576)
On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (1537)
On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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