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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32177) - you deserved it (6775)
On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (4469)
On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50201) - you deserved it (4408)
On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)
Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12550) - you deserved it (32026) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/26/2013 at 12:02am - love - by crétin-crédule - France (Limousin)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12693) - you deserved it (37273)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26743) - you deserved it (7372)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (6984)
On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13315) - you deserved it (26092)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (1426)
On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (2366)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (2794)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25870) - you deserved it (4450)
On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States
Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10052) - you deserved it (35386)
On 01/16/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while out grocery shopping together, my mom decided it was a great time to describe in vivid detail how, when she was breast feeding me, milk would pour out of her nipple piercing holes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27504) - you deserved it (2373)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by Gingerdoesafacepalm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (24953)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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