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94yhy

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94yhy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1714
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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94yhy's last visitors

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94yhy's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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94yhy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed hysterically and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62834) - you deserved it (8192)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49325) - you deserved it (10480)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63012) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41952) - you deserved it (9244)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40226) - you deserved it (11295)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I smoked weed with friends. Stoned, I put on my sister's high heels instead of my Vans and I walked to 7-11. FML

#20624531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16812) - you deserved it (66872)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (11981)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (6577)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18667) - you deserved it (35468)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30879) - you deserved it (5754)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47220) - you deserved it (11115)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, at college, I finally talked myself into confessing my feelings to a girl I really like. Her response was to threaten to sue me. For what, exactly? I have no goddamned idea. I just don't understand people anymore. FML

#20545151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (2815)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:43pm - love - by forever single, I guess (man) - United States

Today, thinking my girlfriend had left her little black thong in the dryer to tease me, I sent her a picture of me seductively posing with it. She didn't text back, but a few hours later my 16 year old daughter asked if she'd left anything in the dryer. FML

#20539833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17132) - you deserved it (42107)

On 03/11/2013 at 5:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33411) - you deserved it (3709)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

#20537800
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29761) - you deserved it (8042)

On 03/10/2013 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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