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94yhy

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94yhy
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1650
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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94yhy's favorite FMLs

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (4490)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (4490)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

#21094457
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (3501)

On 03/23/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by doesn't fuck on the first, thank god (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44841) - you deserved it (4111)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

#21080573
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37048) - you deserved it (18711)

On 03/07/2014 at 2:47pm - intimacy - by onepussytwopussy (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30184) - you deserved it (50876)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my younger brother asked if he could watch me put a tampon in. He's 17. FML

#21029617
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57283) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/16/2014 at 8:37am - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54277) - you deserved it (6697)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51686) - you deserved it (5344)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

#20862202
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (3509)

On 08/31/2013 at 7:48pm - kids - by embarrassedmom - United States

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50830) - you deserved it (3143)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46587) - you deserved it (5960)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29781) - you deserved it (58234)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

#20822176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47356) - you deserved it (5916)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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