89_Sparkly

Search for a member

89_Sparkly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6554
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

89_Sparkly's page activity

Visits<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:02am<b>silon5</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:03pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:27pm

89_Sparkly's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of 89_Sparkly's badges

89_Sparkly's favorite FMLs

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML

by katie / 05/25/2011 at 4:23am / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

by asnolt / 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

by asnolt / 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

by asnolt / 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

by asnolt / 05/24/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

by quickfingers100 / 05/22/2011 at 5:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

by Ally / 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

by Monika / 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my new boyfriend is the type of guy who, when there is a conflict, will just scream "I LOVE YOU" over and over hoping that it will solve itself instead of actually trying to work the problem out. FML

by sad / 05/05/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Love

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

by woah / 05/04/2011 at 7:51am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy