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89_Sparkly

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89_Sparkly
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1970
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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89_Sparkly's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of 89_Sparkly's badges

89_Sparkly's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48777) - you deserved it (8003)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (59165)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

#130109
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40370) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58795) - you deserved it (20293)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75510) - you deserved it (4481)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75510) - you deserved it (4481)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

#43502
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63946) - you deserved it (6620)

On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

#42695
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32890) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/14/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Grossed out (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76159) - you deserved it (23621)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42603) - you deserved it (7567)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found some porn videos in my parents room. I put them in and began to toss off, but as the camera moved up I realized it was my mom and my step-dad. FML

#11602
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10045) - you deserved it (42456)

On 02/06/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43978) - you deserved it (13049)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have been reading FML for 12 hours. FML

#4028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35909) - you deserved it (13029)

On 01/31/2009 at 8:51am - misc - by ayw329 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML

#450
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17329) - you deserved it (4064)

On 12/04/2008 at 10:45pm - misc - by Kerlane - Sent from mobile version



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