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89_Sparkly

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89_Sparkly

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  • Number of visits : 2322
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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89_Sparkly's page activity

Visits<b>silon5</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:03pm<b>ChancellorW</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:27pm

89_Sparkly's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of 89_Sparkly's badges

89_Sparkly's favorite FMLs

Today, it's Christmas day. Normally, my family would be opening gifts right now. Instead, my mom is holding our gifts hostage until we clean the house. Apparently, "The presents aren't going anywhere." FML

#18606973
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (25022)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by John Nani (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

#18580798
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (4059) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm - misc - by anna - France

Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML

#18553074
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30301) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML

#18519378
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (5283)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48412) - you deserved it (7717)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27865) - you deserved it (3416)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me with a woman twice my age. I'm 32. FML

#18353006
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48356) - you deserved it (3517)

On 11/26/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34119) - you deserved it (11448)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML

#18260975
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36232) - you deserved it (6878)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by halloweed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40908) - you deserved it (3174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in my car doing paperwork around 2 am. When my supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on my window, wearing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad my window was closed. FML

#18208389
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14567) - you deserved it (31134)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:40am - work - by copshop - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24082) - you deserved it (45226)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24082) - you deserved it (45226)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML

#18162397
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24082) - you deserved it (45226)

On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States

Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML

#18070582
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26962) - you deserved it (32339)

On 10/25/2011 at 6:15am - intimacy - by sad - Reserved



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