Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 06/26/2015 at 7:39am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 February 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1118
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About 82681 : I was an extremely uncool twelve year old just like you.

82681's page activity

Visits<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 1:21am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 10:58pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 9:58pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:27pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:30pm<b>moiqbal</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 8:24pm<b>missmoschner</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 9:38am<b>jacky75</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:18pm<b>julako</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 6:16pm<b>ssclanker</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:22pm<b>hayleymaybe</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:57pm<b>julia_adamec</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 1:10pm<b>ksbrdkntr</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 8:58am<b>Slasher2977</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 4:29am<b>wakemeupplease</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 11:40pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:51pm<b>besosforme</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 10:09pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:41pm

Fucked!<b>sidd98</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 8:06pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:42pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 7:32pm<b>spike7447</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:03am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 1:37am<b>Railworker12</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 12:53am<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:57am<b>1dvs_bstd</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:53am<b>yolo_swagxD</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 1:05am

82681's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of 82681's badges

82681's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42772) - you deserved it (8851)

On 01/03/2015 at 5:48am - love - by JJ_V3N0M - United States (California)

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33563) - you deserved it (2693)

On 12/25/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by BowTiesAr3Cool - United States (Texas)

Today, in a waiting room, my 4-year-old daughter told me she saw two guys kissing. I quietly explained that some men like men, they're gay, and normal like everyone else. I was pleased with myself until the woman across from me scoffed and muttered, "Disgusting." FML


I agree, your life sucks (52940) - you deserved it (8060)

On 05/13/2014 at 1:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63130) - you deserved it (5387)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44517) - you deserved it (13061)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML


I agree, your life sucks (70417) - you deserved it (35715)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45632) - you deserved it (6656)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64227) - you deserved it (12557)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45696) - you deserved it (15702)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38653) - you deserved it (4098)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37000) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56320) - you deserved it (6307)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49004) - you deserved it (14997)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (69546) - you deserved it (7034)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: