Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

82681

Search for a member

82681
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 137
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About 82681 : Yo, I'm Winni. Nice to meet you. Feel free to send me a message, although, I'll warn you that I'm terrible at social interaction. It's not my thing.

I am also the coolest person you will ever meet. Fo' shizzle.

82681's last visitors

Bafrinnlb562IwtumntacojaunsEdogg215Jarl_the_EliteMetalManiacHappycolereanRajni_devinner_peaceOwlSaysBlimey

82681's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of 82681's badges

82681's favorite FMLs

Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML

#21108570
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60152) - you deserved it (29137)

On 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm - animals - by Brody89 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

#21107421
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40786) - you deserved it (5728)

On 04/08/2014 at 3:56am - misc - by the long distance guy - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52621) - you deserved it (9410)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40953) - you deserved it (13762)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

#21013459
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33541) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/01/2014 at 9:32pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, the day before I'm supposed to leave for a long-anticipated trip to Europe, my mother admitted that she's never paid for it. She only told me she did so I would stop hinting that I wanted to go. I gave up Christmas for this trip. FML

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31933) - you deserved it (2375)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

#20846451
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51353) - you deserved it (5741)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by aly55a_mariie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42110) - you deserved it (12863)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

#20804720
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61807) - you deserved it (6198)

On 07/26/2013 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by awkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48962) - you deserved it (8617)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

#20745866
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45346) - you deserved it (7863)

On 06/25/2013 at 2:12am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38514) - you deserved it (5683)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (3643)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: