HI!!! ^-^ my name's Alex,
i love this place =D
its so damn hilarious, woot ^-^
dont blame me, im random =)
no, i dont like gambling, just love my 7s....and drawing...i like drawing =P
oh, and there r no fake FMLs, only people in denial
Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you totally deserved it (1967)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3307) - you totally deserved it (39463)
On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5967) - you totally deserved it (22013)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17505) - you totally deserved it (2760)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20849) - you totally deserved it (1268)
On 10/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Jack - United States (Missouri)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you totally deserved it (1565)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I fainted on the sidewalk. When I woke up, I was still lying on the sidewalk, people were stepping over me and my purse was gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41852) - you totally deserved it (1852)
On 10/06/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by blackedout (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24126) - you totally deserved it (3446)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I woke up (after a night of drinking) in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7299) - you totally deserved it (23607)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you totally deserved it (22154)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you totally deserved it (3518)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20989) - you totally deserved it (1611)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I found out that if you don't clean the inside of your sonicare toothbrush, it can grow masses of fungus. I've been brushing my teeth with a vibrating mushroom for the past 5 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you totally deserved it (12081)
On 10/01/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by mushroommouth (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you totally deserved it (2834) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. At school I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4962) - you totally deserved it (22336) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
