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77777771

Offline (the 08/17/2014 at 5:09pm) | Search for a member

77777771

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 745
  • Number of comments : 151
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

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77777771's favorite FMLs

Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML

#19293168
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (4764)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (10933)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

#19281871
93 comments

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28464) - you deserved it (3170)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I called pizza hut to order a pizza. A voice recording was reading me their specials. The man had a horrible country accent so I began to make fun of it. Then I realized it was an actual person on the line. FML

#19281634
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5961) - you deserved it (42738)

On 03/15/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by muzikmaler91 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

#19222051
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27091) - you deserved it (9184)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML

#18315280
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28498) - you deserved it (5215)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:22am - health - by ughh (woman) - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (3141)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked how I could go to the bathroom and leave my tampon in at the same time. He didn't realize there are two separate holes. He's 28. FML

#13923340
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (4370)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML

#6273710
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29806) - you deserved it (8577)

On 11/12/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112819) - you deserved it (8489)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (268751) - you deserved it (17561)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (477265) - you deserved it (29220)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (89579)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
925 comments

I agree, your life sucks (349262) - you deserved it (38643)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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