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512bigt

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512bigt

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 523
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 512bigt : im a marijuana advocate with an addiction to good games and good anime. they say its hard out there for a pimp.. but its harder being this awesome.

512bigt's page activity

Visits<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 1:35pm<b>fi3ldhock3ybab33</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 6:09pm<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 12/17/2012 at 7:36pm<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 11/16/2012 at 6:20pm

512bigt's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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512bigt's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML

#20160628
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38733) - you deserved it (2696)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had dinner with my grandparents. At the table, my grandfather openly complained about how hard it is for him to get out of their hot tub. Not because of his prosthetic leg, but because his balls somehow "get stuck". I really didn't need to know that. FML

#20159093
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16969) - you deserved it (1307)

On 11/11/2012 at 3:27pm - misc - by Miki13 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28986) - you deserved it (2586)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39879) - you deserved it (1818)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16335) - you deserved it (26887)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (4214) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30557) - you deserved it (6482)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26190) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23639) - you deserved it (3394)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (6251)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (5769)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (5034)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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