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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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4forpengs

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4forpengs
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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4forpengs's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (7767)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (12148) - you deserved it (23195)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was writing my narrative essay for my English class. When I turned it in, I was really proud of what I thought I wrote. Evidently for some people listening to music while writing essays is a bad thing. My essay was filled with little bits of ZZ Top lyrics. FML

#13784109 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (4054) - you deserved it (19157)

On 11/09/2010 at 11:00pm - work - by hwscrewed - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

#13762185 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (12287) - you deserved it (1928)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:32am - misc - by facingit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML

#8241571 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (14517) - you deserved it (2237)

On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (17837) - you deserved it (2792)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (17556) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up in the hospital. I had apparently overworked my heart so much that I fainted. What caused it? I was playing a racing game on my Wii and freaked out when I won first place. FML

#7789192 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (8916) - you deserved it (23891)

On 02/01/2010 at 7:40pm - health - by overexcited (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (2514)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the bathroom having major diarrhea, when the lights went out. There was no other light whatsoever, so I had to crawl out of the bathroom, butt covered in crap. I managed to hit my head on the stall door, and trip over a bench. All with my pants down. In a public restroom. FML

#7684971 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (16579) - you deserved it (7038)

On 01/29/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by nixie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML

#7490616 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (36723) - you deserved it (2838)

On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent an hour and a half trying to rid my house of smoke and burnt plastic smell because my little sister didn't know she was supposed to add water in the package of microwaveable mac and cheese. FML

#7235673 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (14081) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:45pm - misc - by Justaddwater - France

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35767) - you deserved it (1410)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (2463)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused caling me Jill & her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (98213) - you deserved it (5700)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)