About 4everblackjack : Hey there! I come here to read FML's right before I sleep. I normally don't comment but if I do, I apologize in advance for anything stupid I might've said. I'm also obsessed with this Kpop group called 2NE1. Message me if you want; I'll reply late though..
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4everblackjack's favorite FMLs
by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by smellyhouse / 11/27/2011 at 5:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, one of my classmates pointed out that our professor has a habit of sucking his teeth at the end of each sentence. I'd never noticed before. I can't concentrate anymore, all I can focus on is his weird teeth noise thing. FML
by taternuts / 11/26/2011 at 7:18am / Canada / Work
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 10:51pm / United States / Love
Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML
by Bob / 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML
by whoopsboutthecap / 11/15/2011 at 7:51am / United States / Miscellaneous
by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my dad was putting seasoning salt into his mashed potatoes, when the lid came off and poured a ton of salt into the pot. My parents hate wasting food, so we still had to eat it. I think my taste buds are broken. FML
by deviable / 11/09/2011 at 12:32pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML
by midwesternpetclerk / 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Work
by rj93 / 11/05/2011 at 9:43am / United Kingdom (Ballymena) / Health
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous
by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work
by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML
by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I was talking about Star Wars with some of my friends. When they started talking about how… Today, my boyfriend went to the ER. I ran to catch the nearest city bus. My sandal breaks. I had to… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'…